Late, As Always
by Jesse Shadowstalker
Summary: Pregame Cloud and Sephiroth fic. Cloud has just entered the ShinRa cadet training and whatnot, when he gains the curiosity of ShinRa's all-famous General. Yaoi,angst,abuse. Currently in revision.
1. Chapter One Redone!

Late, As Always

Chapter 1 – Redone!

A/N: I'm not sure how this deviated from its original form, but somewhere along the line it morphed into something I don't find to be particularly pleasing. So! Back to the drawing board, to be transformed into something a little closer to the first version. This time, I don't want to rush it. Please note that I currently have no beta, so if something is wrong, let me know so I can fix it. :)

* * *

Even when he was a child, it took very extreme measures for Ms. Strife to wake her boy from the throes of deep sleep. Foghorns, cold water and being pulled physically from his bed had brought minimal results, but it had eventually gotten him up and running. To be honest, she was never surprised to be contacted by her son's school that he was suffering for always being late for just about everything.

Not much had changed since those many years ago, as evidenced by the fact that Cloud Strife had once again slept through the blaring wake-up horn that sounded every morning at the ShinRa military complex. The other cadets in Cloud's dorm had long since quit trying to wake him up, knowing it was a lost cause. All they did anymore was sigh as they walked out the door for morning session, knowing the boy was in for hell as soon as he was able to wake himself.

Presently, after nearly an hour of the screeching of his personal alarm clock, Cloud sat bolt upright in his tiny bunk, slamming his head on the upper bunk.

"HOLY SHIT! Not again!" he crowed, rubbing his throbbing head as he leaped out onto the cold tile floor. Christ, why couldn't he ever put his uniform in the same place twice?

6:30. Oh fuck. _I really need to move my ass,_ Cloud thought as he booked it into the bathroom, hopping from one foot to the other as he hurriedly tried to pull his pants on and put his shirt on the correct way. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he pulled a face. Once again, his lemon-yellow spikes were unruly as hell and absolutely no amount of product or taming would yield different results. Deciding it was best to just forget it, Cloud quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth, and violently laced his standard-issue combat boots before grabbing his books and sprinting for his first session. If he was lucky, he could still make the second hour of it.

Cloud had managed to slow himself down to walk calmly into his session 50 minutes late. Zack sighed and motioned for him to sit in one of the many vacant chairs surrounding the vast sparring court.

"Late again, Strife?" he asked once the room settled. "See me after session please."

General Sephiroth watched on (as Zack's supervising officer, of course) from an upper balcony as the Basics of Sword Training class droned on for another full hour after its daily interruption. Many of the cadets seemed to nod off as the course went on, despite Zack's extremely exuberant way of teaching. In complete honesty, this course had been Sephiroth's least favorite as well. All theory and no sword in hand made for a very long session.

Sephiroth had to sit through the session, just as bored as the young cadets in the room, because although Zack was a fully-qualified SOLDIER Second Class, ShinRa deemed it necessary for him to be supervised while giving his lectures. To pass the time, he contented himself with analyzing the cadets. Already, he could tell which ones would flunk out completely, which would end up in the regulation army, and which had a passing chance at the SOLDIER exams at the end of the year.

It was Sephiroth's honest opinion that the cadets would not learn all they would need to know in a year, but those who didn't pass and ended up the regulation army had the opportunity to study for another two years to try again. In the end, he supposed it was fair.

Speaking of Fair… Zack was about to wrap up his lecture. At least, Sephiroth hoped so by the way the cadets were packing up their books and starting to fidget like mad. A part of the General's mind remembered that the neon-blond boy was required to hang back with Zack for being late again. The thought crossed Sephiroth's mind to stay behind to supervise. For fun. That's what he told himself, anyway. It wasn't because the boy frequently drew his attention or-

"Alright, class dismissed, except for my favorite slacker!" Zack called. Half of the cadets were out the door already. Only Cloud remained behind, awkwardly waiting for the room to clear before walking slowly up to Zack, looking glum.

Sephiroth took this opportunity to make his way down the stairs, where he hung back by the door, waiting for his second-in-command.

"Cloud, Cloud, Cloud," Zack chided. "As your professor and resident advisor, I have to tell you: you're about to be in a lot of trouble. There are only so many times I can pretend this doesn't happen all the time before the bosses will be on my ass."

Cloud hung his head. "I know, Zack, but I don't know how to fix it! It's been a lifelong problem. Ask my mom. Well, on second thought, don't, because she'd probably keep you on the phone forever telling you stories about my childhood…"

"Score!" Zack whooped, pumping a fist in victory. "You know I love that stuff. Friends should always have embarrassing blackmail on friends. Anyway! Have you tried figuring out why you can't wake up? You know, our doctors here are so amazing they'd probably have you fixed up in no time!"

Across the room, Sephiroth shuddered at the mere mention of doctors. Zack smiled at him sympathetically. The General briefly wondered how Zack even noticed.

Cloud shook his head. "Do I have to? Doctors make me…squeamish."

Sephiroth knew exactly what the boy meant and gave a nearly imperceptible nod. Again, Zack smiled over at him. How could the First be so inattentive in normal life and so perceptive now? Something was definitely weird here.

"Look, Cloud. Let me set you up with one of the sleep techs. For one, they aren't as creepy as doctors. Mostly because they aren't doctors at all. They're normal kids just like you and me that help out in the labs. They'll be able to figure out why you aren't waking up when you should. They might have you work with a shrink briefly but I think it will really help. You don't want to get kicked out, do you?"

There was a moment's hesitation. "…no."

"Why the pause?" Zack prodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Tell me why you joined the SOLDIER program."

The blond shook his head vehemently. "I can't tell you that. It's completely embarrassing."

Zack figured Cloud probably joined to be just like Sephiroth, just as many other cadets before him. The best part was that Sephiroth was standing by the doors, a fact that Cloud couldn't know because he hadn't looked yet. The General was a sneaky bastard when he wanted to be.

"I gotta prove myself, Zack!" Cloud suddenly blurted. "I came from a backwater town in which I always got picked on and shunned. So I gotta be strong, ya know, like Sephiroth, so I can prove that I'm not the worthless kid they knew!"

There it was. "Like Sephiroth." Everyone had this weird hero-worship thing for Seph. Just never made any sense.

"Alright, Spike," Zack conceded. "If you want to make it, you need to get restful sleep and wake up in time. If you want that dream to come true, then you'll let me help you."

After a moment, Cloud finally nodded. "Alright, Zack, do your magic."

Sephiroth almost smiled.

It had been a few weeks since the day Sephiroth had been present for Zack's lecture. The General was sitting at his desk, attempting to finish the mountains of paperwork Old Man ShinRa had assigned him when Zack walked into his office, looking rather somber. Automatically his analytical mind told him that something was amiss; Zack didn't barge in with his usual grandeur. Sephiroth sighed and steeled himself for the eminent mischief.

"What is it, Zack? I have a lot of work to do today," Sephiroth ventured after a few moments of the First wandering around in a glum daze.

Zack heaved a huge sigh of his own, turning dull violet eyes to his superior. "Seph, something bad happened today. There was a giant ruckus on my floor today. I guess a student got raped after physical session this afternoon. I… couldn't find one of my cadets. They wouldn't release who was involved, not even to me! What is the point of me overseeing the cadets if I can't even know this kind of information?"

This information startled Sephiroth. It wasn't uncommon for relationships to happen amongst cadets being that there was hardly any contact with the outside community, but rapes were not really that common. Reported ones, anyway. The Department of Security once put out a notice that there was something like 20% more rapes that weren't recorded. None of that normally mattered to Sephiroth, though. He was a master of strategy and command.

"Well, Zack, which of your students was missing today?" he offered.

The frown deepened. "I have a lot of students that don't show up often, so I think I can rule them out. Both Reno and Cloud were missing today, but I don't know. A few cadets from other floors are missing. It could have been anyone."

Zack definitely noticed the fact that Sephiroth stiffened when Cloud's name was mentioned. It was an odd thing, but he decided to let it go…for the time being.

"I'll keep an eye out. The cadet in question might still be in the med ward. I've got… an appointment in a few hours there anyway. Near there, anyway. I'll check it out."

Something in Sephiroth hoped to Holy that he wouldn't find a neon-blond in the medical ward later.

As it turned out, there were no cadets in the immediate medical ward when Sephiroth arrived. Zack, however, was. Apparently Cloud was doing sleep-studies and Zack promised to be present when the blond woke up.

"You're coddling him," Sephiroth accused. "You're also going to be accused of favoritism."

"Seph, you know I can't help it. Look, he's been screaming for the entire study, but he's definitely asleep. Currently he's not responding to waking, as has been his problem for the past two months. The weird thing is, none of his bunkmates reported screaming waking them since the program started."

"I would assume they'd be too afraid to say anything," Sephiroth replied. "If your roommate frequently had screaming night terrors, would you report him?"

"I don't know Seph. Why is it starting now? Whatever, I guess you're right. I'd just turn over and go back to sleep. At least I would have when I was a cadet. Now I want to help everyone."

Sephiroth laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Look, Zack. You can't… save everyone. If you try, you'll end up in the ward yourself. Or worse, in the labs."

Cloud chose that moment to sit bolt upright in the bed, glancing around wildly. His bright sapphire eyes were unfocused, almost enraged. The medical staff rushed forward, restraining the raging cadet. Zack watched on, his hand outstretched oddly and looking frantic, as if he wanted to run in there himself to help out. Suddenly, the boy was lucid and speaking normally to the staff. He shook his head a few times as if to clear the fog there.

"Where is Zack?" Cloud asked rather loudly. He began looking around suspiciously. "I need to see him. He promised he'd be here when I woke up. Zack?"

"Gotta go, Seph," Zack ground out hurriedly. "I'll see you in the office tomorrow. Let me know if you find anything out about my cadets, please."

Sephiroth didn't even manage a reply before Zack took off, rounding a corner and popping into the sleep room next to Cloud. The blond immediately relaxed in Fair's presence while the techs scolded Zack for entering a study room in such a way. Zack merely chuckled and ruffled Cloud's hair. Something told the General that he would be seeing much more of the young cadet in the months to come…

* * *

End notes:

I tried really hard to draw this out and put in more descriptions. I realized that Cloud later mentions to Sephiroth that he had been raped (or close to it) by a fellow cadet which sets in motion the end storyline. How on earth did I forget to put that in..?

I suppose such things happen when you get overexcited. Consider it the writer's version of shootin' off too early. Hah.

Please, let me know if you guys like this better or if I should keep version one. I appreciate any and all feedback, regardless of how mean it could be. Honest.


	2. Chapter Two Redone!

Late, As Always  
Chapter Two – Redone

A/N: Here we go. Going to crank out another chapter. At this point, I'm not exactly sure how to morph this into what I want, but we're going to wing it and see what happens! I am totally flying by the seat of my pants here. And I swear, once I'm done with this…metamorphosis, thing…I'll finish my sequel. What good is a sequel without a well-formed prequel?

* * *

Cloud had been religiously attending his sleep studies, just as Zack asked. They had eventually diagnosed him with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and the psychologist on duty told him that he could suffer from bouts of hypersomnia and occasionally insomnia. Cloud wasn't exactly sure what all of it meant, but it didn't really explain the problem.

"But you said "bouts,"' Cloud said one day in her office. "For me, this is every single day. Not just sometimes. All the time."

Of course, the hypersomnia had actually…disappeared. But he had to keep up appearances. If he stopped going, or if he suddenly stopped having the symptoms… They would pry. They couldn't ever pry. Not since…

"Well, Cloud," Dr. Graves answered, tapping her pencil on her thigh thoughtfully, "we can continue the studies if you want. I think we just need to give you some low-dose Xanax and everything should kick back into its normal state… Unless, of course, there is something you aren't telling me that I need to know?"

Dr. Graves peered at Cloud over her glasses, a single black eyebrow arching slightly in question. Cloud almost panicked – did she know about what happened that day? – but he kept his cool. He smiled at her and cocked his head to the side.

"Nope. I'm just feeling a little sluggish. Doesn't that happen when you oversleep?"

She hummed in agreement, frowning. "It can. Well, then I can have them write you up this prescription and advise that you come back next week so I can make sure the dosage is correct. Does that work for you?"

"Absolutely," Cloud answered, getting up. "Do I get all that at the desk?"

Dr. Graves nodded and Cloud took his leave. She was disappointed, to say the least. There was something Cloud wasn't telling her, and it was something big. She wasn't going to push him, though. If he needed her, he would come to her.

That was her hope, anyway.

Sephiroth watched on as the cadets were finally allowed to use dulled swords in kata training. Not that going through the useless motions actually taught them how to fight. As soon as they made SOLDIER – or landed on the streets or in the regulation army – these things would be lost from their minds, likely never to return. Real swordplay relied not upon trying to remember useless kata but your senses. But for the time being, the exercises would teach the cadets how to master their bodies as the varying stages of the kata required certain types of muscle movement and control. Purely out of boredom, Sephiroth took up a practice sword and started mimicking the movements of the cadets below.

"See that? Look, THAT is how your kata should look!" Zack cried. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sephiroth registered that the entirety of the class was gazing at him in complete awe. He froze, mid-kata, and gazed demurely down at them.

A few students actually stumbled. Sephiroth chuckled, unabashed, and decided maybe – just maybe – the students needed some extra help. He took in the height of the second floor observation area for only a moment before launching himself over the railing and into the throng of cadets. He landed with nary a sound as the students skittered away.

"Thanks for joining us, General, sir," Zack bowed (purely for sake of appearances). "I was only commenting that our students should work to mimic your absolute perfection in the kata."

Clearing his throat, Sephiroth turned to the cadets. "You should all be aware that no matter what else changes, kata are always a part of the SOLDIER exams. Personally, I hate them. However, you must master it if you want to proceed to the next level. They go in no particular order, so try not to memorize them as such."

Zack scanned the crowd as Sephiroth was speaking. Many of the students looked awe-stuck, but one in particular looked like he was hyperventilating. Snickering quietly, Zack snuck up behind his favorite cadet and leaned in close. Sephiroth gave him a very small glare, knowing his Second was up to no good.

"You know, you'll get a better view of him if you move closer," he whispered in Cloud's ear.

Zack was really impressed that Cloud didn't jump, or even squeal as he was prone to do. The blond gave a start and turned to glare at his RA and, Gaia help him, if looks could kill then Zack would have dropped dead on the spot.

"You know, Zack, it's days like this during which I could honestly kill you and feel no remorse," Cloud hissed back. "Now let me concentrate!"

"Don't be like that, Chocobo. I know you just want to pay attention to the General's super hotness and all but you should be watching the kata, even though you kinda have it down already… But, look at that man move…"

Cloud blushed a deep red at that and promptly swatted Zack for calling him out again. "I said stop it! I'm trying to focus!"

Sephiroth stopped his routine then, superior senses picking up on the mild scuffle going on between his Second and Cadet Strife. He gave a small smirk and raised a single eyebrow, focusing in on the two and drawing the class' attention to them as well.

"Lieutenant Fair, Cadet Strife," he called. The two stopped immediately and stared at him. Zack smiled brilliantly, while Strife looked like he was about to die. "Is there something you'd like to add? Or may I continue?"

"Apologies, sir." Zack threw up a hasty salute, still grinning like an idiot. "Won't happen again."

Cloud saluted as well. "Very sorry, sir," he added in a weak voice.

A thought struck the General then. Perhaps this would be his chance.

"Cadet Strife, to the front here please." If possible, Zack's grin grew even wider. Sephiroth was sure that his cheeks would split.

As Cloud blushed and made his way to the front, Sephiroth noted that the boy was very toned and incredibly graceful. What he lacked in strength he could make up for in speed. He stood across from Sephiroth for a moment before raising clear aqua eyes to meet quizzical emerald.

"Since I would have to assume you have a fairly decent grasp on the kata to shirk the opportunity to see them done correctly, I would like you to show the class how it's done," Sephiroth commanded. He stepped back, allowing Cloud to take the spotlight and watched as the cadet seemed to panic slightly. "Let's not prove what they say about assuming, shall we?"

Meanwhile Zack was squatting on the floor, face buried in his hands, trying very hard not to laugh out loud at his friend. Sephiroth gave him a warning stare. He knew Cadet Strife was the type to not take kindly to criticism, and although Zack wasn't laughing at him, it could have detrimental effects on the boy.

Without the Xanax, Cloud probably would have gone into full cardiac arrest at being the center of attention in front of ShinRa's youngest General. Thankfully, the pills calmed his frayed nerves, allowing him to take a deep breath, flash a brief smile at Sephiroth, and fluidly moved into starting position for the first round of kata.

Sephiroth was actually very impressed. He only had to correct Strife's posture once, and it was a very minor correction at that. All points considered, the boy was doing very well for himself. Zack smiled the whole time, looking like a mother watching her child ace a very important test. The other students appeared to be in awe; Strife's appearance didn't peg him as the sort that would do well in their field.

"Enough, Strife," Sephiroth said gently, as not to startle the boy from his trance. "Thank you. That was very well done."

Cloud straightened at once, stretching his muscles briefly and smiling again up at Sephiroth. "Thank you, sir. It was an honor."

Sephiroth reached out to clap the boy's shoulder in congratulations, and got completely lost in his scent and the silky smooth feel of his skin. Fire burned in the General's fingers and palm where he touched Cloud. A small, sharp gasp from the blond and a startled glance indicated he felt the same electricity. Their eyes met, and Sephiroth was lost all over again…

A hissing sound reached the General's ears then. Odd, had he been daydreaming? Zack whistled nonchalantly in the background. Cloud turned away quickly and returned to his spot in the crowd. The last thing Sephiroth remembered thinking was how Strife's muscles moved when he stretched, and how soft those lips looked, how they practically begged for attention…

"Alright, class, I think that just about covers it for today!" Zack called, bringing the class' attention back to him. "Remember what our General told you, as it will definitely come in handy for the exams in the future! Hell, I might even put it on a quiz! If we're lucky, maybe General Sephiroth will be so kind as to assist us in the future."

As the class filtered out, Zack sauntered over to the now scowling General, grinning the most wicked of grins. Surely something stupid was about to come out of his mouth-

"I saw that."

Sephiroth snorted, turning up his nose at Zack and turning quickly on his heel.

"Shut up, Zackary."

Cloud couldn't believe his luck. The General himself, his idol, praised him in class! His self-esteem soared throughout the rest of the day, keeping him in ridiculously good spirits until late in the evening. It seemed like in all of his years he was never really good at anything and was never recognized by anyone. Finally, he had found something he was good at and could put his whole soul into. Perhaps even one day he could be a SOLDIER like Zack and Sephiroth…

The other boys in the bunk began to file in as lights out approached. Some of them even congratulated him for his performance in class. The blond greedily took every compliment and settled down into bed. Wild fantasies played out in his head, and before he knew it, the room was plunged into the darkness of lights out. It was shortly after that Cloud realized that old habits certainly do die hard. The wondrous good mood quickly faded into oblivion, leaving only dark, dejected thoughts to fester and multiply.

Lights out had been some time ago, and still Cloud tossed and turned in his bunk, haunted by images he wish would burn themselves straight out of his memories. Of course, he would not be so lucky, even though he tried so hard to recall the feel of the General's hand against his skin… No, as the maelstrom continued all Cloud could think about was _his_ hands…groping, pulling, shoving… _His_ face, leering out of the shadows. _His _mouth, hissing terrible threats and promises of the horrifying things to come…

It took everything in Cloud's power to keep the screams from escaping. His bunkmates would notice… they would send him back to the ward… Dr. Graves would be all over him. As the memories surfaced, swirled about in his mind, a terrified squeak made its way out before Cloud could push it back. Fear immediately took over, and he stilled, listening to determine if anyone heard him.

Many silent minutes passed before Cloud convinced himself that he was undetected. Sobbing quietly, he reached for his Xanax, popped a few, and eventually slipped into oblivion…

From the shadows nearby, Zack sighed in resignation. Suddenly, he knew which of his recruits had been raped all those weeks ago.

* * *

A/N: I had planned to continue on with this chapter, but I decided that this was a perfectly good place to stop. Beyond this, I thought there would be too much in one chapter. I apologize for such a long wait! Things have been so crazy in my life, and it's hard for me to totally revamp this and set up new chapter guidelines. Hell, this time last version, Cloud and Sephy were getting way too acquainted! Good lord, how did I rush that so fast?

Anyway, any comments are appreciated, even if you absolutely hate the revisions. Thank you all so much for sticking with me through this.


	3. Chapter Three Redone!

Late, As Always  
Chapter Three – Redone

A/N: Here I am again~! Here's to hoping I don't keep you guys waiting as long as I did last time. ;)

* * *

Zack couldn't believe what he was about to do. In all his life, he had never been The Nark, and Gaia knew, he didn't want to start.

"What brings you here today, Zack?"

Guilty violet eyes met the analytical black eyes of Dr. Graves. Zack frowned deeply; it was as if his legs dragged him into this office purely of their own volition. If Cloud didn't share the details of his attack with Dr. Graves, surely there was a good reason for it. Cloud being the open book he was, if the doctor hadn't found out herself already then he was doing so well at hiding it…

"Nothing for myself today, Dr. G," Zack finally replied, still frowning.

She smiled, then. "Good. I've been worried about the effects Dr. Hojo's experiments have had on you and Sephiroth. Why don't you two start seeing me again? Not often, mind you. I know how busy you guys can get."

It was totally useless to tell her no; Dr. G was very persuasive. Zack knew she cared about him and Sephiroth, but getting the General to attend therapy was worse than pulling teeth.

"I'll talk to him, but you know as well as I do that Sephiroth hates therapy, but we'll see," Zack replied evasively. It was the best he could do. "Regardless, I'm not here for us. I'm here …because of Cloud."

The doctor's smile faded then. Her eyes started to water at the mention of her recent patient obsession. "Cloud… Please, Zack, I know you. I know coming here in regard to him was hard enough for you, but if you know what's holding him back, please… help me help him."

"You might want to pull his file, doc," Zack said, sighing heavily. "One of my cadets was raped a while back, and last night… Last night, Cloud was whimpering to himself about 'no, please don't hurt me' and 'please, it hurts' and a whole bunch of other terrible things. I don't think he even knows he was saying it. I was hiding out. I had to know what was wrong…"

The information barely fazed the doctor. She only frowned deeper and nodded.

"It makes sense, Zack. I had wondered it myself, but Cloud is very secretive and is way better at hiding things than most of my patients. I couldn't quite pinpoint it because he switches on me so quickly just when I think I have him." She paused then, looking anxiously up at the taller SOLDIER. "Do you… know what the extent of the attack was?"

"To be honest, I think… I think the furthest the asshole got was oral. In the report, it was stated that someone entering the locker room forced the guy to flee, as obviously he didn't want to get caught. Cloud was found bleeding, curled up in the corner, after taking a crazy beating. He hasn't spoken a word of it since. Not even to ME, doc! I'm his best friend. I'm all the kid has around here."

The SOLDIER's outburst caught Doctor Graves off guard. She blinked up at him, and proceeded to fix him with the most scrutinizing stare she could muster.

"Zachary, you're letting your anger get the best of you. Haven't we been over this? You can't save everyone. Essai and Sebastian… Cloud… Angeal… You need to let go," she said, as gently as possible.

Not another word was said as Zack turned on his heel and left the room.

Doctor Graves sighed. It was time for a vacation.

"Cloud?"

At the mention of his name, Cloud stirred from his groggy state, having been staring off at the ceiling for an indeterminable amount of time. It appeared as though the doctor had been busy doing something; she had just walked over from her printer in the far right corner of the room, holding a stack of papers. Cloud eyed them suspiciously before raising aqua eyes.

"What's that?" he asked, unexplained anger welling up.

Doctor Graves frowned, making sure she was staying well away from the cadet and his rising anger.

"You've been lying to me, Cloud," she said, carefully. "I can't help you as long as you're lying to me."

Frantic eyes darted once again to the stack of papers. "What are those?"

"This is your medical file, Cloud. It's got restricted access on some of it, but I assure you, I can break that restriction with a swipe of my little finger. I haven't read this yet, but I don't have a problem doing so, since you won't talk to me."

Snarling, Cloud made a sudden leap from his perch on the couch, swiping for the papers in the doctor's hands. His fists connected with her flesh a few times, but he paid it no notice. _No one can know…!_

A quick whisper was the only warning Cloud received before a small bolt of lightning hit him square in the chest. The doctor's hand glowed green for another second before she lowered it, fixing Cloud with a frown.

"Are you done?" she asked. "Will you tell me what happened now?"

"You FRIGID BITCH! I don't have to take this from you! FUCK YOU!"

The last thing Doctor Graves saw was a streak of blond. She shook her head, sighing for the millionth time that day.

Where was he? The elevator? To where? Where the hell was he going? Doctor Graves pushed him, he snapped and left and then…? What the hell was going on? Why was his heart pounding?

"Cadet Strife, was it?"

The deep baritone behind him made Cloud jump, and his frantically beating heart stop for a moment. That voice could only belong to one person: General Sephiroth. Sure enough, as Cloud slowly turned around, he confirmed that he was stuck in the elevator with his idol. His heart resumed its frantic dance in his chest.

"S-sir!" he saluted quickly, nearly falling over in his haste.

"At ease, Strife. No need to be so formal in the privacy of an elevator, after all."

Sephiroth took in the flush of the cadet's cheeks, his ragged breathing and wild eyes. He frowned then, a foreign feeling washing over him. He reached out, placing a gloved hand on Cloud's shoulder.

"Strife? Are you alright? Do you… want me to phone Lieutenant Fair?"

Hysterical giggles burst out of the small cadet. Surprised, Sephiroth deadpanned, unsure of how to proceed. He blinked a few times as Cloud continued to giggle away, his bright blue eyes unfocused. Just as the General was about to retrieve his PHS to get Zack there, Cloud abruptly stopped and snapped his attention to the older man.

"My apologies, General, sir. Lost my cool for a second, ya know?" Cloud said hastily. He then noticed Sephiroth's hand on his shoulder. The flush came back violently.

"No thank you, sir, as far as calling Zack goes. I need to get to class. I'm not even sure how I got in this elevator in the first place…"

_I remember…_ Sephiroth mused, giving the briefest of frowns to the cadet as the poor boy seemed to unravel before his eyes. _You came tearing down the hallway from the psych ward. I tried to speak to you, Cloud, but you weren't responding to anything I said. It worried me. I thought perhaps I should shake you, but I couldn't be sure that you wouldn't retaliate. Not that it would hurt, but my reflexes may have kicked in and…_

"Could you, uh, hit floor 45 for me, sir?" Cloud asked, shattering the absolute silence and breaking Sephiroth's disconcerted train of thought.

"Absolutely, Cloud. My apologies." Sephiroth tapped the correct button before turning his attention back to the cadet. "And please, call me Sephiroth. I tire of being called 'General' and 'Sir' all the time. It makes me feel… less than human."

"Sure… Sephiroth." Cloud smiled up at his idol, finally starting to feel halfway normal again. Butterflies started to kick up in his stomach. Nerves?

As Sephiroth was admiring the way his name sounded coming from Cloud's lips, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He had a feeling… Sure enough, as he glanced at the screen, it showed a message from Zack:

**Seph,  
Doc G made me promise to ask you to come see her sometime. No, I wasn't there for me, so don't go thinking I purposely trapped you! I can see that eyebrow arching now-**

Hmm? Upon inspection, yes, his eyebrow was quirked. Sephiroth almost laughed aloud.

**-and I bet you just checked! Hah! Regardless, just call her so I don't look like a total douche, ok? I really needed a favor from her, regarding my pet Chocobo. You know how it goes. Thanks, buddy.**

"My pet Chocobo." That was Zack's code name for Cloud. Cloud just came from the psych ward… that could not be a coincidence. Sephiroth decided to look it up later, but for the time being…

"Meddling doctors," Sephiroth muttered, tucking his phone away.

Cloud snorted, baby face suddenly contorting in anger. "Truer words have never been spoken, si… erm… Sephiroth. You don't even know."

Sephiroth chewed on those words for a moment. As he was about to say something in return, the elevator beeped. Were they at Cloud's floor already? It seemed to go by so fast. There was still much to be said…

Reaching out, Sephiroth held a hand at the door when it opened. "Cloud…"

The cadet turned around, eyebrows knitted together. "Yes?"

"I, too, know a few things about the injustice of doctors. Should you need someone to talk to… Er…" he stalled, unsure of how to say what was on his mind. Things like this didn't come naturally. After a few seconds, he gave a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

Cloud smiled slightly. "I understand. Thank you, Sephiroth. If I may take my leave?"

"Oh, absolutely. Enjoy your class, Cloud. Lieutenant Fair knows where to find me, should the need arise."

"I'll keep that in mind. Have a good day."

Sephiroth watched Cloud walk away. Half of him was troubled, but morbidly curious. The other was almost happy. Happy? The feeling was nearly foreign to the General at the current point in his life. It was almost scary.

The silence of the elevator was broken by a cutesy fanfare coming from the general direction of his phone. Confused, and slightly irritated, Sephiroth retrieved the device. Of course… He jammed the answer button violently.

"Zackary, what did I tell you about customizing my phone without permission?" the silver-haired man growled sans greeting.

Cackling answered his brusque greeting. "Oh, Seph. I thought it would be funny! I bet that vein is pulsing in your forehead right about now!"

Sephiroth barely resisted the urge to check. "What is it?"

"Did you check?"

"No, actually, I didn't."

"What about earlier?"

"No."

"LIAR, Seph! I know you checked ONCE!" Zack cawed, sounding upset.

"Answer the question, or I hang up."

"Fine," Zack sighed. "Look, I know you're bored right now, and I have a mountain of paperwork to do. What do you say to helping out your favorite Lieutenant?"

Sephiroth was slightly put out that Zack assumed he had no social life. It was hard to blame his young friend, though, since it was almost always true. He felt awkward in the presence of a lot of people in a non-military setting. After all, the military and the ShinRa compound were all he knew.

"Tell me why I should help you do the paperwork that YOU were supposed to have done already?" Sephiroth asked, while hitting the button for their floor. It was fun to tease Zack, even if they both knew Sephiroth was on his way to help.

"Um, because the more time I have, the more time I have to work on getting you laid?"

"You do realize that I have people throwing themselves at me whenever I leave this building, don't you?" Sephiroth replied, scoffing.

"Sure, that you repeatedly turn down?" Zack paused, then gasped dramatically. "Oh my god, Seph. You're the mushy, emotional type aren't you? AHAHA! Wait till I tell Kunsel. He's going to shit. I had money on this one, you know."

The elevator beeped 64. Sephiroth promptly hung up on Zack for two reasons: he was almost to the office, and he really had no response prepared for Zack's accusation. Perhaps it was true. Who knew? Sephiroth hadn't given much thought to relationships. He was always told he didn't need them; they were something weak people got into. Weak people could not, in fact, lead an army.

Zack was waiting at the door, papers in hand. With a sly smile, he gave Sephiroth a mere third of the pile. Sephiroth almost thought he was going to get lucky and Zack wouldn't cause a fuss.

"So, is it true or not? I gotta know, man. You just don't get it."

Sighing, Sephiroth took a seat at his desk and grabbed his favorite pen. "To be honest, Zack, I have no idea. I've never been in a relationship. One doesn't exactly find time or opportunity when confined to the labs until it was time to become a First. Why are my intimacy habits so important to you, anyway?"

"Money, Seph! Duh! And I need that information to find you a suitable date!"

"Yeah, right! Like I'm going to trust you with something like that! Get real, Zack. And get to work. I don't want to be stuck here all day, you know."

Paperwork took about as much concentration as kata for Sephiroth, leaving his mind to wander while doing his portion. He wondered what it would have been like, to have a normal relationship with someone. To not be the Great General Sephiroth. What if he had just been Sephiroth? A no-name kid. Strong enough to make SOLDIER, but not the superhuman he currently was. What sort of person would this Sephiroth have ended up with?

Pale fingers flitted over the papers as the daydreams continued. Zack noticed, but did not comment. Sephiroth often worked preoccupied. It was a wonder his reports were always to the letter.

A woman, perhaps? Or a man? Sephiroth found he had not really associated with either, nor did he really prefer one over the other. What had Zack called that, when he admitted to being that way himself? Bisexual? No. Sephiroth did not see himself being such. He just needed to figure out what sort of person appealed to him. Perhaps it was more about a person of either sex that could relate to someone like him. Someone that didn't treat him like a monster, but rather as a human being.

A brief flash of blond flitted through his mind. Not just any blond. Golden, quickly chased away by crystalline blue. So, a blond haired, blue eyed…?

A ridiculous buzzing started up in Sephiroth's ears. Old war wounds, he supposed. He shook his head violently, discovering that he had finished his paperwork already.

"Oh. Well. Did you want me to do more?" he asked Zack. The younger SOLDIER still had a pretty decent stack.

Zack's lips moved in answer. The buzzing got louder, to the level of a loud roar. Though Sephiroth could not hear him, Zack's lips clearly read, "no thanks, Seph. I think I have it."

"Don't you hear that?" Sephiroth all but shouted. Or perhaps he did shout. Zack cringed at the volume.

"What's wrong with you, Seph?" Zack's lips read. "Do you need to make a trip to the med ward?"

What the hell was going on? Obviously the buzzing was only in his head, otherwise Zack would be having a fit also.

_Idle fancies, my son. You don't need them. Life is as it should be. You are precisely as you are meant to be. What is the use of dwelling on a life you can never have?_

The voice was faint, and distinctly feminine, yet somehow not human. Sephiroth narrowed his eyes in confusion. No signs that Zack had heard it, either. This had never happened before. The buzzing, sometimes. Usually it was followed by a period of unconsciousness. This time, it brought a voice?

'_Who… are you?' _he asked, hoping he wasn't going insane by talking to the voices in his mind.

_He speaks! I am Jenova, Sephiroth. I am your guidance. There is no need to be unhappy, my dear. Relationships only cloud the judgments of what could have been great leaders._

'_Jenova. They told me my mother's name was Jenova.'_

_Of course, dear. The Lifestream was not…ready… for someone like me. Instead, I have the opportunity to help you._

"Hey, Seph, snap out of it!" Zack called. Something strange was happening to his superior's eyes. The green was becoming clouded. Almost…red?

'_Forgive me for not being a believer. Leave me be,' _Sephiroth commanded. She seemed genuine, but his instincts were screaming for him to block this presence out.

"SEPHIROTH!"

The buzzing finally subsided. The voice disappeared with it. Zack was leaned over the desk, eyebrows furrowed, violet eyes wild with concern. How long had he been listening to the disembodied voice?

"My apologies, Zack. I think I'm getting tired. I haven't been sleeping well since… Angeal and Genesis left," Sephiroth lied, blinking and rubbing his eyes a little for extra measure.

Zack immediately softened up. "Gotcha, Seph. I know how you feel. It's been rough on me, too. Plus, Hojo said you've been skipping appointments. Is that true?"

Cringing, Sephiroth frowned. "You bet I have. The horrors he forced upon Genesis, Angeal and myself… Words cannot even describe. I take mako injections, and that's it."

"No problem, man. Maybe we really should see Doc G after all. We're a pretty messed up pair, you know." Zack knew better than to push the issue. None of the other Firsts ever talked about their experiences with Hollander and Hojo. They always came back raging, out of their minds. Zack often wondered why he never got subjected to such a thing.

"I'm just going to look something up before I head home for the night," Sephiroth added, breaking through Zack's thoughts.

Now that got Zack's attention. Sephiroth never just "looked something up." He was always on a mission for something. There was some info to be had here. Info that Sephiroth was not willing to share. That was ok. Zack didn't look incredibly brilliant, but surprise! He really was, when it came to some things. Things that included fighting, teaching… and computers.

Zack sneakily accessed his computer in between doing his paperwork. A few clicks here, a quick swipe there… full access to Sephiroth's desktop, though the General had no idea. As long as Zack didn't move the mouse or accidentally click on something, he could simply watch what the General was up to, all while doing his work. Zack casually returned to working, all while keeping one eye on his and Sephiroth's screen. Maybe he would finally figure out the enigma that had captured the man's attention in the past few days.

Sephiroth was being hesitant. That alone was very out of character. He looked like he was hovering over the link for the personnel files. What in the hell could be in the personnel files that would be so private? Surely Sephiroth wouldn't dare try to post that dorky picture from his first year… He HAD threatened enough times…

No. The link opened. Sephiroth hesitated again, though a normal person would not have noticed; it was only a fraction of a second. As Zack had noted, however, Sephiroth was always on a mission.

Zack nearly blew his cover when Sephiroth's pale fingers typed in the words "Strife, Cloud." He hesitated a second more… then swiftly hit enter, as if in his head he were warring with himself over what he was doing.

There was a glaring restriction on Cloud's medical files. Zack knew this, and could see it as Sephiroth scrolled past all of the basic information on the cadet. So, this was in fact a mission. The General started to click on the link to lift the restrictions on the file…

"Look, I know I'm fessing up to watching what you're doing over there, but that is so not a good idea," Zack blurted out. It was a private thing. Even he wasn't supposed to know. If Cloud didn't want to talk about it, then it was better left alone.

For the first time in Zack's career, he witnessed Sephiroth being caught off guard. The window swiftly closed, and the connection was terminated.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Zack," he said, pale face turning the barest shade of pink. Zack nearly had a heart attack.

"Absolutely, Seph."

With that, Sephiroth neatly stacked up Zack's paperwork and stepped out of the office.

Suddenly, Zack knew just the thing to do.

* * *

A/N: holy crap guys, I had the WORST writer's block for months over this. Then I got pregnant. And now I'm hospitalized because of said pregnancy. Rough times all around. But hey, it's done, and I'm on to the next.

Chapters too short, just right? Plot moving along better than my first try? Reviews appreciated.


	4. Chapter Four Redone!

Late, As Always  
Chapter 4 – redone!

A/N: Alright. I'm on a roll. I think I finally know where I wanted to go with this in the first place. Here goes nothin'.

* * *

It was the weekend, thank god. Cloud was so ready for a few days off after the hell he had been put through in the past week. He sort of felt bad about how he had treated the doctor the other day, but it was a necessary evil. The woman was far too close to outing his secret. Although, if she really did have access to his file… she probably already knew what happened. That in and of itself was terrifying.

Panic set in. What if she told people? What if it spread? Everyone would know. Even Zack. And Sephiroth. The only people he cared to impress would suddenly see him as useless, broken. ShinRa would throw him out because he obviously wouldn't make a good SOLDIER anymore. Everything he had ever wanted would be gone in an instant…

As if on cue, Cloud's door burst open, nearly giving him a heart attack.

"CHOCOBO!"

Great.

"Yes, Zack?" Cloud asked, cringing at the nickname.

"What're you doing this weekend?"

"Well, I…"

"Great! Cuz there's going to be this awesome party at the SOLDIER house, and you're totally going to be there! It'll be a damn good time! You'll get to meet other SOLDIERs and I think Sephiroth might even come if I can manage to be obnoxious enough… We'll see, though. We're leaving in about an hour, ok?!"

And, in a flurry of fluffy black spikes, he was gone.

Leaving in an hour didn't leave Cloud with much room to experiment with the perfect outfit and hair. He could not physically go to a party that Sephiroth would be present at looking like a ragamuffin. No, that would be totally distasteful. Cloud tore ass into the bathroom to try to manage the mop everyone called hair, but after roughly fifteen minutes had absolutely no luck. Instead, he embraced the messy spikes, using a little hair wax to give them a little more form and toning down the chaos factor. He gave his face a quick wash, a quick moisturize, brushed his teeth until they shone and took off for the closet.

Uniforms, uniforms, uniforms. Nothing but ShinRa logos, beige, camouflage and shapeless clothing. This would not do at all… Cloud needed something with a little oomph, a little pizzazz. Pursing his lips, he dug in the very bottom for the meager bag of clothes he had brought from home. The first thing that caught his eye was a pair of jeans that would be absolutely perfect: they were boot-cut that were snug in the hips and buns (he had to show off his best asset, of course!). Truthfully, they used to be his mother's, but as far as she knew, they got lost after doing laundry one day. He could still clearly hear his mother's voice in his head asking if he'd seen her favorite jeans.

Cloud giggled to himself and continued the search for a shirt to wear. He didn't want to go all out crazy… Hm. He grabbed a fitted black polo with white detailing on the sleeves, collar and faux pocket that really showcased his budding abs and arms. Perfect! It said, "look at me!" without being really attention seeking.

Zack reentered the room shortly after Cloud had finished agonizing in front of the mirror.

"Ready?" he asked, smiling. Cloud looked awesome.

"I suppose," Cloud mumbled. His body language screamed insecure.

Zack laughed. "You look fantastic, Cloud. Don't worry so much. Is that a baby six-pack I see forming?! And look at those biceps!"

Without warning, Zack whipped Cloud's shirt up and started poking at his abs. Cloud squealed at the invasion, batting Zack's hands away.

"YES IT IS, THANK YOU. Now, get off!"

Cloud secretly loved the attention. Zack knew this. He purposely did things like what he just did to boost the kid's self-esteem. That is not to say he didn't think Cloud was attractive, because he really did. It was a matter of being dramatic about it to make sure Cloud got what he was trying to say.

Once Cloud was smiling, Zack ushered him out the door. A short walk put them outside the SOLDIER house, where the music was so damn loud Cloud's bones rattled with every bass thud. Zack laughed at Cloud's cringing.

"Don't be a party pooper, Cloud. It'll be fun! Relax!"

Upon entering, Zack immediately scanned the room for his partner. It was easy to tell when Sephiroth was present: usually he was in the middle of a large crowd, looking rather awkward. After a few moments of a social struggle, there would be a large empty bubble around him, with people straining to control themselves from going over and talking to the man. It was actually pretty fun to watch. No such luck today, however, and that made Zack cranky. Sephiroth said he'd come. Well, not in so many words, but…

_Earlier that day:_

"_SEPH!" Zack yelled as he came into the office._

_Sephiroth sighed. It was too early for shenanigans. "Yes, Zackary?"_

"_There's a party tonight at the SOLDIER house! You game?"_

_A very swift "no" was the answer. Sephiroth didn't even look up or consider the offer. Zack did not accept it._

"_Don't be like that. Could you at least consider it?" he asked, pouting._

_Again, a very quick denial followed. Zack smiled to himself; he had a plan._

"_Alright, fine. I see you aren't going to go with me. I'll be back in five; I'm going to go alert Cloud that he needs to be my date tonight. I can't go to a party alooooone!"_

_Zack had just enough time to note how Sephiroth perked up at the name, and considered his plan a success._

All Zack had to do was mention the blond's name and it was a done deal. Cloud had no idea that he was being used as bait, but it was all good. The subject of matchmaking shouldn't really be aware of the process, anyway.

After a bunch of introductions and a few illegal shots for the underage cadet, Zack excused himself to go figure out where Sephiroth was. Cloud was happily conversing with a group of Thirds, and assured Zack he would be alright. Smiling, Zack took off into the next room and retrieved his PHS.

"Call Sephiroth," he commanded the device. Seconds later, it rang a few times before Sephiroth picked up.

"What is it now?" the General asked, sounding a little… odd.

"I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about my offer! A party isn't a party without the socially awkward General, you know," Zack chirped back.

"I don't think so, Zack. I'm headed home for the evening."

Zack might have believed that, but he heard the subtle sounds of downtown Midgar in the background. Sephiroth did not live in downtown Midgar, but the SOLDIER house was there…

"Oh. Well that's too bad, Seph." Zack paused, and grinned. "Alright, well, I gotta get back. I left Cloud with a group of the Thirds. I think Kunsel's looking out for him though. Brett was making eyes at the kid when I scooted away. See ya at the office tomorrow!"

Before Sephiroth could answer, Zack hung up and skipped back into the main room. Sephiroth was SO on his way.

In a matter of a minute, Cloud had gotten involved in some beer pong, and was doing rather poorly. Zack giggled as he came up behind the blond.

"You suck at this, you know," he said. Cloud laughed.

"I know that! I haven't played this before. I'm tryiinnnnggg! I have horrible aim! If they stick me in the regulation army, I'm totally screwed. Those assholes use nothing but gunnnsssss."

Zack cut Cloud off after a while. He didn't want the boy to be super drunk when Sephiroth arrived, which actually would probably be any moment…

The door opened. No one really noticed but Zack…until Sephiroth entered the room. At that point, everyone cheered and immediately flocked over. Poor Sephiroth was surrounded and trying not to be as awkward as usual.

"Yo! Leave the man alone, people! Small groups at a time, yeah?" Zack yelled over the commotion. "Get outta here!"

Grumbling, the mob broke up. Zack smiled at his partner.

"Going home for the night, Seph?" he asked cheekily. "I'm pretty sure you don't live here."

Sephiroth gave a half smile. "Yes, well, I'm not as tired as I thought I was. Besides, if I didn't show up, I'd have to listen to you whining at me for weeks about how I have no social life, I missed a great party, I should get out more, I need to – as you say – get laid… I decided a few hours of agonizing torture was better than a week of it."

Laughing, Zack scanned the room for Cloud. The cadet was looking very concentrated on the beer pong game that had resumed. In fact, he was too concentrated on it. Eyes narrowing, Zack motioned for Sephiroth to wait a second and sauntered up to his favorite cadet.

"Don't you wanna talk to Sephiroth, Cloud?" Zacked asked casually. "I'm sure he'd appreciate a break from the normal accosting he gets at these parties."

After a small nervous giggle, Cloud turned his gaze on Zack. "I guess so. What am I supposed to talk about? I mean, he's Sephiroth. I'm just… Cloud, the cadet."

"What do I always tell you? Don't worry so much! Come on, I'll go with you."

Even Zack felt the immediate sparks that flew between Cloud and Sephiroth. The air around them changed within seconds. They awkwardly half-smiled at each other and Zack knew that somehow, things would work out.

"Sephiroth, I believe you know Cloud?" Zack said, scooting Cloud closer to Sephiroth.

"Absolutely," Sephiroth replied. "Good to see you, Cloud."

Cloud smiled. "You too… Sephiroth."

There may as well have been lightning crackling between the two, and Zack started to feel like he was encroaching upon something very intimate. As the two began to make small talk, Zack wandered away, smiling.

"So, I see you got roped into this as well?" Sephiroth asked, laughing. "When Zack is around, these things tend to happen often."

"You mean getting dragged into all sorts of trouble?" Cloud retorted, also laughing. "Geez, I can't tell you how many times I've been woken up in the middle of the night for some harebrained scheme. I just want to slap him and say, 'damnit, Zack, I'm sleeping!'"

"Yes, indeed. I get those as well, typically in the middle of the work day. As if I don't have enough to deal with without him trying to get me to do something stupid! I'm sorry, Zack, would YOU like to do my paperwork for me? No? Alright, then I have to do it."

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear, or so they say. Not always. Zack heard the pair poking fun at him, and decided to let it go. They were hitting it off too well to intrude.

"Would you like a drink, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked, heading for the fridge. "I know you probably don't know your way around here yet. And, personally, I don't feel right getting my own drinks in a new area.

"Ah, I suppose. I think maybe I should stick to water this time, though. I don't think they want me headed back completely wasted."

Sephiroth snickered. "Aren't you a little young to be under the influence? Hm?"

"Zack's fault, completely. He twisted my arm. Zack twists arms like nobody's business," Cloud countered, attempting to be deadpan serious and failing miserably. He blushed. "How did you know, anyway?"

Turning slightly awkward, Sephiroth busied himself in the fridge while formulating a response. He returned to Cloud with bottled water.

"Well, you are under my command, cadet or no. I do have to keep an eye on things. That's my life, you know. Paperwork, and cadet intel. Sometimes they even let me out to play in the yard!"

Perhaps it was the drinks, but Cloud laughed way harder at that than absolutely necessary. It was infectious, however, and soon Sephiroth joined in as well.

"Your sense of humor is perfect!" Cloud finally exclaimed after he caught his breath. "It's quirky. You know, I would have never pegged you as quirky. I've seen you all over the papers since I was like, small. Always soooo serious and soooo commanding. But this? Excellent."

The General eyed Cloud for a moment. "Since you were small? So, what, yesterday?"

"BUUUUURRRRNNNN!" Kunsel yelled from across the room. Zack promptly elbowed him in the ribs.

"DON'T BE A DICK, KUNSEL," Cloud yelled back. "Sorry. Seriously though. Like, I've been seeing you all over the place since I was _young_. And small. But smaller than now. Oh dang. Am I babbling?"

The cadet was drunk. Hilariously so. It seemed to Sephiroth that Cloud was always so withdrawn, especially lately, but he was certainly coming out of his shell under the influence of both the alcohol and Zack. His fellow First was really having a positive influence in Cloud's life.

"So what you're telling me, Cloud, is that I do cadet intel and you do Sephiroth intel?" Sephiroth clarified, a twinkle in his emerald eyes.

"Ah, well…" Cloud blundered. He was so busted. "Hard not to see you in the news and the papers, you know. I mean… uhh… would you look at the time! Lights out is sooo close! That means I gotta run, and sober up! Geez. How unfortunate."

Zack came running up at that moment, as if on cue. "Dude, Cloud. It's Friday night. Lights out doesn't resume until Sunday?"

Sephiroth laughed. Cloud blushed.

"Well, I gotta stay in a routine, so I can… um… wake up in time to get to your oh-so-exciting morning classes! Duh! Gosh, Zack. I'm so tired."

The poor kid was in such a rut, having been called out by his idol and all, so Zack let him slide. Sephiroth looked disappointed that the kid was leaving, so Zack jumped in to save the day.

"So, Cloud, we usually party it up at least one day during a weekend. You should start making regular appearances! Hell, even Seph here seems more relaxed and maybe HE will make regular appearances as well!"

Daggers shot his way from both sides.

"Don't call me Seph in public," came at the same time as, "I'm not really a partier."

"Fine and no problem! We could hang just the three of us?" Zack countered, undeterred.

"We'll see," Cloud dodged. He started to sneak toward the door. "Sephiroth, it was good to see you again. Zack, I'll see you back in the dorms come Sunday, I'm sure."

The actual problem was that Cloud could feel his meds wearing off. Insecurity and serious anxiety were creeping in and his chest was starting to feel tight. Memories were surfacing, as seemed to be the norm when night fell.

"You, too, Cloud," Sephiroth replied, smiling despite his disappointment at the boy leaving so soon. He reached out and briefly touched Cloud's shoulder. "Perhaps I'll see you soon?"

Memories that had already begun to surface came out in full force as Cloud recalled a firm grip on his shoulder, forcing him to the ground. Whispered threats roared in his ears. Sheer panic set in and Cloud practically tore of the room and onto the streets.

Inside, Sephiroth and Zack alike were flabbergasted by the display.

"What just happened? I thought that was going rather well," Sephiroth wondered aloud.

Sighing, Zack clapped his superior on the shoulder knowingly. "That is something the two of you are going to have to work out. I think I know what's up, but it really isn't my place, ya know? You seem to really have hit it off with him though, yeah?"

It was then that Sephiroth also left, leaving Zack's questions verbally unanswered. That didn't matter, though. Zack already knew everything he needed to know. He glanced over at Kunsel and nodded, smiling. Everything was going according to plan.

* * *

Note:

Wow, it has been so long! Things have been absolute chaos between getting married, chasing after my toddler, establishing myself in a new career and trying to find a house. But I found time to finish this (I got inspired, and reminded, by playing FFVII in my very little free time lol). And I'm motivated to keep going! I see a lack of sleep in my future as I attempt to keep writing.

I'm just going to go ahead and take down the old version of this fic. It irritates me to no end that I rushed things so bad, and left out key elements of where I was trying to go with this! I can't stand by and let that stay public. It embarrasses me.

Thank you again to everyone that has stuck with me through this very long journey, and to those I see that have been joining the team as time has gone by. I appreciate all the support!

Things are about to get easier for our dear Cloud, but harder at the same time, as we may remember from Version 1. I really want to try to hash out this budding relationship between him and Sephiroth, but he has to work on the issues he has from being assaulted. I think perhaps I'll hold off on the physical parts for a few more chapters, or maybe I'll have him stick to the original idea of "make me forget," but in a more classy way. Not sure yet. I have all sorts of ideas, and I suppose I'll have to write, see how it sounds, and rewrite depending on how I feel.


	5. Chapter Five Redone!

Late, As Always  
Chapter 5 – Redone!

* * *

The weekend passed in a haze of drug-induced sleep and jarring memories. Cloud was horrified that he ruined what appeared to be a good meeting with Sephiroth. The man was his absolute idol! …and he was good-looking…and very intelligent… Perhaps Cloud saw him as more than just a role model. Everything was great, but then Sephiroth touched him and something in Cloud's mind broke.

Not that it really mattered. Sephiroth was the leader of the world's strongest military power. He was known worldwide. All he was doing at that party was being polite and using Cloud as a way to keep all of the other partygoers off of him. There was no way in Holy that a man like Sephiroth would ever take someone lowly like Cloud seriously. Blair was right. What happened was exactly what he deserved…..

Cloud was thankful that it was Sunday, it was nearly time for lights out and Zack usually returned late on Sundays. He didn't need Zack seeing him the way he was. As the memories surfaced once more, Cloud reached for his bottle of Xanax and took a handful, unable to deal with the extreme emotions he was having.

Monday came, and as usual, when class started, Cloud wasn't present. In fact, he never showed.

On Tuesday, Cloud showed on time, looking ragged. In the dorm that night, Zack found out Cloud had nearly overdosed on his medications and was in the medical ward on Monday.

Sephiroth watched on from the second floor as usual. Cloud hadn't been the same since the weekend. He was still doing well in class, but it was obvious that mentally, the boy was crumbling. Briefly, he wondered if it had anything to do with the incident that occurred on Zack's floor some time ago…

Wednesday, Cloud was late again. Zack could ignore it no longer; he had to enforce the rules. After class, he motioned for the blond to stay after with him.

"Cloud, what did I tell you about being late?" Zack chided. "In order to make sure neither of us get accused of any favoritism, I have to discipline you. First offenses usually mean a meeting with a superior officer…"

While Cloud looked like he was about to have a breakdown, Zack had an idea. He needed to bring his favorite two people closer together, despite the setback.

"But unfortunately, all of the usuals are out on missions, or otherwise busy. The only superior officer left… is Sephiroth."

Panic and excitement painted Cloud's pale face then. Zack knew Cloud was still dealing with his issues, and that things had gotten a lot worse after the weekend. Still, he thought a gentle push would do his two best friends a lot of good. He just wished Cloud would go back to seeing Doc G. She was the best there was, and could really help the cadet if he would just let her…

"Hey Seph! I need you to take care of a disciplinary meeting for me, okay?" Zack yelled to the upper level where Sephiroth was studiously examining a speck on the railing.

Sephiroth glanced down, confused. As he was about to open his mouth and remind Zack that the next step should be handled by one of the other professors, Zack gave him a very pointed look and a quick nod to the blond. The General raised his eyebrows briefly, but shrugged and motioned in the direction of the office down the hall. He disappeared, leaving Zack to turn his attention back to Cloud.

"Great. You're sending me straight to the top of the line. I don't want to get thrown out, Zack," Cloud whined. "This is horrible. I hate my life right now."

"Cloud, relax. Sephiroth likes you. He won't be too mean. I mean, Friday…"

Zack's phone beeped.

"One sec, buddy." He retrieved the phone to find a message from Sephiroth.

**Why are you doing this to me? I'm busy enough as it is.**

Sephiroth, clueless as always. Zack chuckled and replied.

**Because, a relationship doesn't appear out of thin air. Go with it. One-on-one time is good. Now hush. I need to calm him down.**

"Anyway, you guys seemed to get along just fine. Just trust me, kiddo. I wouldn't steer you wrong. Now, go, and meet with Sephiroth. He is a busy man, and he's waiting for you in the office." Zack patted Cloud on the shoulder sympathetically. "I know you're upset. You will not be removed for first offenses. Seriously."

The closer Cloud got to the office, the more he panicked. He wanted to see Sephiroth again, but everything had gone so crazy over the weekend, he wasn't sure what would happen. Maybe if he just kept his mind on the fact that this was strictly business, and that it wasn't Sephiroth behind that desk but the General of ShinRa's army… perhaps that would make it easier.

Nope. That did not make it easier. Thinking about the fact that he had just gotten escalated straight to the top of the line for being late completely freaked Cloud out. He couldn't go home a failure. It was not an option.

The blond hesitated at the door to the office, waiting for Sephiroth to acknowledge him.

"Enter," Sephiroth called after a few moments. His intense emerald eyes pierced right through Cloud as he approached the desk. Pale fingers steepled just under those eyes, and a frown was barely visible through strong hands.

"Have a seat," the silver-haired man commanded, motioning to the single chair across the desk. Cloud sat nervously on the edge of his seat. "Do you understand why you're here?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud responded. "I've been late to class most days."

Sephiroth nodded in agreement. "With the exception, however, of a few weeks. You were on time every single day for nearly a month. Then, suddenly, you were back to old habits. What happened, Cloud? I need to know this; it might affect the disciplinary process."

Clamming up immediately, Cloud wished they hadn't ordered him to go easy on his meds for a few days. Tension was rising within him, raising his heart rate and causing his breath to go shallow. Cloud was completely aware of what his silence could do to his career, but…try as he might, he couldn't force the words from his mouth. His chest tightened every time he tried to speak.

What he didn't know was what Sephiroth was observing: Cloud had blanched immediately. The boy's breath was as ragged as could be, his eyes wild, every visible muscle clenched. Something huge had happened to this cadet, and although Sephiroth had a very good idea of what had transpired, he knew he couldn't say anything. This was something Cloud had to come to terms with on his own.

"Cloud, breathe…" Sephiroth ventured. "I ask you to trust me. If something is affecting your performance and there is something to be done... I will take care of it. There will be no negative marks on your record for it."

Silence followed. After a few long moments, Cloud finally whispered, "no, sir. I just need to try harder."

Cloud watched as Sephiroth's brow furrowed, his lips pursed and his nostrils flared. He was definitely angry.

"Fine," the General snapped. It stung. He asked Cloud to trust him and the boy decided to keep quiet and take a hit for something that wasn't even his fault. "I will alert your superiors that your performance is poor due to lack of motivation. We need not speak any further. Please see yourself out. I have paperwork to do and send over."

Stunned by Sephiroth's immediate attitude change, Cloud was a little slow to rise from his seat. He was confused, and he could see any chance of anything with the man slipping away.

"You are excused, Cadet Strife," Sephiroth all but growled.

"Very sorry, sir," Cloud whispered as he quickly exited the office.

Zack, who had been eavesdropping, frowned. That had not gone exactly as he had hoped. Alright, it hadn't gone AT ALL as he had hoped. Cloud was supposed to open up, and the two were supposed to bond, and things were supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows! How the hell did it become what just happened?!

Whipping his phone out, Zack quickly sent a text to the General, listening the older man's phone go off nearby.

**Please don't give up yet. It's not his fault. Don't shut down, ok? He needs time. Also, don't be mad that I was eavesdropping. I'm only looking out for my two favorite people, after all! 3**

"Zack, just go," Sephiroth called from the office. Footsteps followed, accompanied by the General stepping outside the office briefly and locking eyes with his partner. "Make sure he doesn't have a breakdown."

Saluting, Zack took off in the general direction that Cloud went.

Come Thursday morning, Cloud was a man on a mission. His jaw was set, his shoulders were squared and he was ready. It was time to fix this.

The door was open. That meant the doctor was available. Cloud stormed past the confused receptionist and straight into Doctor Graves' office, shutting the door behind him.

"Cloud?!" she asked, completely startled. "I thought you would never come back! I'm so happy you're here!"

Immediately, Cloud sat down on the couch, having not said a word yet. He was silent for another few moments, as the doctor waited anxiously for his story. The boy took a few deep breaths, tears started flowing and he whispered, "I was raped."

Doctor Graves took a seat closer to Cloud, nearing tears herself. "Oh, Cloud. I was hoping that wasn't the case. It's good that you're finally talking about it. Let's discuss what happened… Take your time, I know this is going to be difficult…"

Several floors above, Zack was preoccupied. Not that he was ever focused on the mundane work they had to do between missions, but he was particularly absorbed with his favorite cadet's behavior over the past few days. It seemed Sephiroth was also mulling over the 180 that Cloud had pulled on them.

"You're thinking about it too, aren't you?" Zack finally ventured.

The silver-haired man hummed in agreement.

"And you're hurt, aren't you?" Zack pressed.

Silence. Sephiroth never admitted to these things, so Zack took that as an affirmative.

"Look, by now you probably suspect the same thing I do: Cloud was likely the cadet that got attacked… and you, having been through so many traumas yourself, should understand that these things do not resolve themselves out of nowhere. I know you asked him to trust you, but you shouldn't be offended that he didn't open up. He barely knows you, even though you are his hero and all, but he hasn't opened up to Doc G yet, so just relax. Things will happen in their own time. You're used to getting your way, right away. But a cadet's emotions can't be commanded like an army."

Sephiroth remained silent for the rest of the day, chewing on the words Zack had offered.

Truth be told, Zack was fully expecting Cloud to be late to class again on Friday, as always. Most students never heeded their first warnings, and Cloud had been having such a hard time lately. To his surprise, Cloud strolled in the door not on time, but EARLY. The First nearly had a heart attack right then and there. Not only was Cloud early, but he looked almost happy. Tired, yes, but happy. Relieved, even? There was color to the boy's cheeks that hadn't been there in weeks. Something had changed.

Unfortunately, Zack didn't get a chance to stop the cadet before he zipped out of class, so the mystery remained. Sephiroth wasn't going to like that; Zack would be antsy until an opportunity to speak to Cloud arose, putting the General stuck in the office with a crazy Zack for hours.

"He's different," Sephiroth noted, coming up behind Zack. "What's going on?"

Shrugging, Zack turned to his superior. "Your guess is as good as mine. I WISH I KNEW."

"Great," Sephiroth groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're going to be unbearable today."

Laughing, Zack followed him up to their office. Once there, they both signed on to their workstations. Immediately, Zack's tray flashed the mail icon.

"Aw man, orders already?" Zack complained. "It's too early in the day for this."

Sephiroth was puzzled. "I haven't received any orders. Must be solo?"

As it turned out, there was an email from Doctor Graves waiting for him:

**Zack,**

**I spoke with Cloud yesterday. While you know I can't give specifics, I will say he should be on the road to recovery. It will still take some time, but I saw a huge difference in him when he left. Please, keep an eye on him for me. You know how I am about my patients. Just don't push him too hard, okay?**

**Oh, and since it seemed that you had a hand in this, PLEASE, work on Sephiroth. I've been worried sick about him as well. I'm glad you've come to see me here and there (though not as often as you should!), he hasn't seen me at all.**

**Thank you again. Without your help, Cloud may still be suffering.**

So, Cloud had finally opened up about his problems. That explained a lot, but not all. Zack wanted details, but he would have to make it seem like he had no idea what was happening. That by itself was horrible; everyone knew that Zack's poker face, in certain situations, was absolute garbage. Great.

A few hours passed with little incident. Zack was formulating a plan while he worked, which was nothing new. It was Friday, but he needed to talk to Cloud before making any plans, so… Hmm. Zack sent a mass text to his Seconds and Thirds, putting a Saturday party night in action before peering over his work at his favorite General.

"Seeeeeeephhhhh…"

"No, Zack."

"Tomorrow niiiiiiiighttttt…."

"I said no, Zack."

"But I think Cloud might cooooooommmmeeeeee…."

"Zack, I really doubt that. Just because he looked alright in class today doesn't mean he's ready for your shenanigans," Sephiroth warned.

"I won't push, Seph. Just consider it. Why don't you text him? See what he's doing this weekend?"

Sephiroth laughed and shook his head vehemently. "Not happening. I don't have his number, nor will I accept it from you. That makes me seem… desperate. I may be many things, Zack, but I am certainly not desperate."

Zack threw his hands up in the air. "You're impossible. I'll talk to him tonight in the dorms. I've gotta get the story on this one."

After classes, Cloud was nervous. He wanted to talk to Zack. He needed to talk to Zack. Talking to the doctor lifted a large chunk of his worries off of his shoulders, but Cloud knew he needed to confide in his best friend to really begin to recover. A small part of him suspected that his mentor already knew, but it didn't matter. The doctor told him talking was good, therapeutic. Cloud would have to see.

When Zack entered the dorm, Cloud was sitting anxiously on the edge of his bed, waiting. Their eyes met, ice blue on violet, and Zack knew.

"Let's go for a walk, Cloud. Get some air, eh?" Zack suggested, setting his bags down on his bunk.

Cloud nodded quickly, jumping up and grabbing his keys. They left the building, strolling into a quieter area of downtown Midgar before settling down on a bench.

Immediately, Cloud turned to his friend, ready to pour his soul out. "Zack. I know I haven't been right lately. I know you noticed. It's time I come clean about everything. Way back when there was a scuffle on our floor… well…"

Hesitation crept in, and Zack opened his mouth to speak. Cloud shook his head, and barreled onward.

"I was raped by another student. Well, I think he was a student. All I know was his first name: Blair. He caught me one night in the locker room taking a shower. I had never seen him before, but apparently he knew me. I heard my name and turned, and he knocked me so hard, I hit the floor. I'll spare you the specifics, but he forced me into some things, and kept telling me I was worthless, that I deserved everything I was getting… He… he started to… to do things to me, and I guess I was screaming, but I don't really remember. He started beating the hell out of me, warning me to be quiet or he'd really fuck me up. There was blood everywhere… I couldn't focus… then I heard lots of footsteps and he was gone. Someone stood over me, and the world went black…"

It seemed like Cloud really didn't even take a breath through his entire explanation. Zack was frowning, tears in his eyes. It didn't matter that he already knew. Apparently more had happened to Cloud than he thought, but just hearing it from him made Zack's stomach churn and rage build in him. Gaia help this Blair if Zack or Sephiroth ever discovered his last name. Knowing Sephiroth's temper, there would be an outrageous punishment in store.

"Cloud, I… I don't even know what to say…" Zack whispered. He grabbed the cadet into a tight hug. "I am so sorry… if I had known…"

"I know, Zack," Cloud replied, hugging back. "I know. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't do anything. Doctor Graves finally got through to me. Well, maybe it wasn't just her. Look, I need to ask you something. You're probably going to laugh, but… I felt like there was something between Sephiroth and I. Call it imagining things…"

"You're totally not."

"So you say! But then at the meeting… he got so cold, so angry. I think I messed up big time," Cloud finished in a rush. His cheeks flushed deep red. "I sound so stupid. He is so far out of my league, I don't even know why I'm asking."

Zack was elated. This is exactly what he needed for things to get back on track. "Don't worry, buddy. I've got you covered. So, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Partying with some SOLDIERs, I think," Cloud answered, smiling.

Maybe things were going to be okay.

* * *

A/N:

Phew! There it is! This is getting really long. Way longer than I intended, but I am having so much fun fleshing everything out that I can't quit! This is the end of the prelims, though; I'm really going to kick it into high gear now. There's going to be setbacks, and drama, and Cloud acting like a whiny girl when Sephiroth goes on missions. And of course, I do intend to keep a lot of the ending intact, although way more polished. I'm trying very hard to remind myself that at this stage in life, Cloud is mid-teens and I'm attempting to keep him acting as such. It's hard, since I'm currently on a playthrough of FFVII, and I'm dealing with crazy adult Cloud. Hah!

Thank you so much to the mass of new fans I have accumulated! I'm so happy to see new followers joining us on this journey. If there's anything I can do better, or something I should have incorporated that I skipped, please let me know. I welcome all criticisms.

Thank you all again, and I will no doubt be posting again soon!


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